I ripped this from WIKIPEDIA today and have in no way contributed to the content. I first heard this term perhaps 8 years ago. and of you know me you know that I fit in most of the cases. *************************************************************************************************************** Dyssemia is a term coined by psychologists Marshall Duke and Stephen Nowicki in their 1992 book, Helping The Child Who Doesn't Fit In, to decipher the hidden dimensions of social rejection, and describe difficulties with receptive and/or expressive nonverbal communication. The term comes from the Greek dys (difficulty) and semia (signal). These difficulties go beyond problems with body language and motor skills. “A classic set of studies by Albert Mehrabian showed that in face-to-face interactions, 55 percent of the emotional meaning of a message is expressed through facial, postural, and gestural means, and 38 percent of the emotional meaning is transmitted through the tone of voice. Only seven percent of the emotional meaning is actually expressed with words.”[1] Dyssemic persons exhibit difficulties with the acquisition and use of nonverbal cues in interpersonal relationships. Dyssemia represents the social dysfunction aspect of Nonverbal Learning Disorder. Contents 1 Symptoms of childhood dyssemia 2 Dyssemic adults 3 A difference rather than a disability 4 See also 5 References Symptoms of childhood dyssemia Jane E. Brody of The New York Times describes in the back cover of the Nowicki-Duke book[2] the sufferers of this condition: “We’ve all known children like this: they stand too close and touch us in annoying ways; they laugh too loud or at the wrong times; they make stupid or embarrassing remarks; they don’t seem to get the message when given a broad hint or even told outright to behave differently; they mistake friendly actions for hostile ones, or vice versa; they move too slowly, or too fast, for everyone else; their facial expressions don’t jibe with what they or others are saying, or their appearance is seriously out of step with current fashions, they don't dress well for the occasion, etc. they are known to stare at people, stalk people, or do something that annoys other people or make them feel uncomfortable they have problem dating and interacting with the opposite sex in a romantic way. Many dyssemics are love-shy." Children with dyssemia fail to appropriately read (decode) and/or produce (encode) nonverbal communication or interpersonal information, the language of relationships, as asserted by Nowicki and Duke.[2] Dyssemic individuals exhibit problems with facial expressions, gestures, body posture, pitch and tone of voice, touch and interpersonal space, mood, adaptive manners, punctuality, functioning and performing in rhythm with the environment, clothing, make-up and hairdo style. Dyssemia sufferers tend to lack various skills indicative of emotional intelligence (EQ). Dyssemia is the nonverbal communication aspect of Nonverbal Learning Disorders. More often than not, dyssemia concurs with dyspraxia a neurological aspect of nonverbal disorders consisting in a lack of coordination of body movements and mannerisms. Depending on the symptoms, dyssemia could be diagnosed as social anxiety or Communication Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. Dyssemic adults The social interactions of dyssemic adults tend to be immature and complex, even though their nonrelational reasoning ranges from normal to gifted. Dyssemic individuals exhibit varying degrees of social awkwardness and various types of nonverbal communication difficulties. Some might only have trouble with reception or expression alone, while others struggle with both. Severity fluctuates among individuals; difficulty does not necessarily equate to total inability, nor occur in all situations. Occasionally, expressive difficulty may only be a delay between the emotion and the facial muscles. Socially awkward adults suffering from nonverbal shortcomings often report feeling "a little out of it socially" or feeling "left out."[3] There is always a danger that over time, these frustrations could exacerbate a sense of grief and despair. Dyssemic adults frequently experience success in temporary or accidental situations, but their sense of success can be short-lived, returning to an often common pattern of disappointment and self-reproach. Many times dyssemic individuals may say something in a way they had not intended and worry about the consequences. Dyssemic adults may sometimes struggle with interpreting the feelings or social interests of new acquaintances, causing potential resentment and/or rejection. They also may have difficulty with subtler aspects of social interaction, for example, timing and opportunity. This may aggravate the situation, baffling acquaintances, coworkers, and even relatives. Dyssemic individuals may also become targets of adult bullies. If dyssemic adults are in an environment or situation with adequate verbal input or other cues, however, they have a frame for understanding or constructing appropriate responses, and these problems can be greatly reduced. There is presently little research on adults with dyssemia/NLD compared to the research on children, making it difficult to treat medically. Until more adults are included in the research on diagnosis and treatment, misperceptions may occur and their quality of life may deteriorate over time into loneliness, isolation, anger, and even aggression as a result of a lack of understanding on the part of both populations. However, it may be treated socially to some extent. Through intense observation or asking questions, as of a supportive friend or colleague, the individual with dyssemia can often eventually "pass" in most situations once he or she has learned the typical gestures for a given situation. Since many adults with dyssemia or NLD are quite competent in reading or writing, it is often helpful to clarify one's communication using fully worded sentences, or supplementing gestures or facial expressions with a verbal clue as to meaning. Social anxiety or social phobia are medical classifications that can be used to designate nonverbal communication problems; however, dyssemia is not an anxiety or phobia when it applies to NLD or specific brain damage, for example to the right hemisphere. Chronic dyssemia is a condition that some neurologists term social-emotional processing disorder (SEPD). A difference rather than a disability Dyssemia is considered a difference rather than a disability; as such, it is not classified as a standard medical condition. Many times dyssemia springs from cultural differences; other times, dyssemia constitutes an offshoot of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). However, the differences can be devastating. Problems associated with dyssemia in the establishment and maintenance of interpersonal relationships are often at the root of people's social and occupational troubles. Sometimes, persons affected with mild Asperger syndrome or (AS) or social anxiety disorder also struggle with characteristics of dyssemia. Dyssemia can be remediated through a variety of programs designed to assess its presence and alter its adverse impact. Such programs, not unlike acculturation, emphasize virtual and social learning.

For my friend as she enters the Kingdom of God.

What are you praying for?

I just read a note from a friend’s daughter. “Mom is moving to hospice tomorrow.” Several face book replies were”Praying” or “Prayers”

I have to wonder, what are you praying?

My friend is dying; her body will soon be leaving this earth. Her spirit will live on forever. Soon and Very Soon she will go to see the King, as the old song goes. Soon and Very soon she will hurt no more, cry no more, worry no more. Soon she will walk on streets of Gold and be dressed in robes of white. Are you praying to keep her here? Soon she will be in the presence of God and know Love as that she couldn’t have imagined.
Soon.

I visited her yesterday; I do believe she knew I was there. Each time she had been in the hospital she asked for me to come. Not because I was some spiritual guru, but we had been connected for thirty years. Her first Sunday in church then was met with a prayer request for me. I lie in a hospital bed unable top move, surgery scheduled for the next day to remove a shattered disc. As prayer was offered, in her mind or heart- I don’t know which, she saw something move. She knew I was healed. Each time we spoke since she reminded me of Gods faithfulness shown in what she had seen. Each time I questioned because It didn’t make sense to me. But that’s not important, it made sense to her. Period.

We never spent a lot of time together. Thirty years could be measured back in several hours. But for my part, it was always nice to catch up.

I am challenged by her desire to take classes at DBU, to learn design and editing and page making. She was in her fifties and she went back to school! How cool was that. When they warned her she was missing too many classes she replied she didn’t care. She was learning and doing what she loved. Often times from her bed because she couldn’t breathe.

What are you praying for?

Her life wasn’t perfect, in many ways she was better than most. Her love for others was amazing. Another friend says, “I walk, I fall down. I pick myself up and walk again.” I dont know how many times my friend fell down but I do know this, She always kept walking, even when it was painful.

What are you praying for?

She was exuberant when ever she talked of her kids or grandkids. Her face would light up and a smile was cast around the room. Her voice stepped up a notch or two. Oh how she loved them so. Now, they are hurting, badly.

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. There is a time to live and there is time to die. That’s what the good book says. Psalm 62 also says, “Twice I have heard this said, that Power belongs to You Oh God. But likewise does mercy.

God has chosen to not use His power to raise my friend from the bed. He regularly helped her through each day of her life, providing for her and her children. Watching over her in times of Crisis. Holding her closely when it was just the two of them, alone and together. So close that as she awakes in heaven she will say excitedly, “Oh, THIS is how I remember it!”

I pray that I will have your exuberance for live and love for others that you had, and can face this passing to the next with the courage you have shown.

I will miss you my friend.